What is The Woolfer?

A community of like-minded women over 40 who trust each other for advice, resources, and endless entertainment.

What Is A Woolfer?

Independent. Feminist. Avid Readers. Getting Older. Witty. Irreverent. Resilient. Diverse. Always Evolving. Sassy. Curious. Brave. Tough. Tender. Open-minded. Honest.

What Is She Not?

Sanctimonious. Nasty. Judgmental. Uniformed. Racist. Homophobic. Petty. Young!

What Is This All About?

No one talks honestly about the indignities and, yes, joys of aging. That’s where we come in. When we started as a secret Facebook group in 2015, our mission was to provide “a confidential forum for women over 40, with a bent toward the literary, witty, and feminist. A place to discuss, support, and share things we may not care to share with the partners and children in our lives.” A fierce sisterhood quickly developed among women from around the world. We post questions when we want advice, whether about perimenopause, online dating, how best to remove chin hair, or what book to delve into next. We post articles we want to discuss. Recommendations when we ​truly​ love something. We tell jokes and share gorgeous art. We reveal our heartaches, disappointments, and embarrassing stories, only to discover that there’s really no need for shame after all.

What Are the Posting Guidelines?

• Post with kindness and respect. No name-calling, insult-hurling, or harassment of other members is permitted.
• Keep each other’s secrets. Privacy is of the utmost importance here. No sharing ANY personal stories or photos outside of the community. Sharing articles or merchandise — anything that links out to a website — is always allowed; use common sense.
• Vents or rants are somewhat discouraged; ask yourself why the post is meaningful for the community.
• Brevity is Queen. We appreciate posts that get right to the point and are framed with care.
• Use the Search Bar to see if there is a thread already in progress on the topic before you create a new post. It’s often preferable to continue an existing conversation.
• We as a community are committed to being inclusive and diverse in terms of sexual orientation, race, religion, and economic status; we trust that you are committed to these ideals as well.
• No clickbait, outrage porn, or GIFs.
• We don’t approve all posts and that doesn’t mean we don’t care. We aim to curate the space in a way that will make it the most functional and enjoyable for everyone.

• Approvals and deletions of posts and comments are at the discretion of the Admins.

What Are the Mechanics of Posting?

This is a curated and moderated community. When you offer up a post, you have the option to choose from a long list of Groups (Parenting, Book Club, Sex Talk, etc., and regions like Bay Area, Europe, Texas and so on). Easiest is to always just choose “All.” On the backend, Admins will approve and also assign or correct the categories so that your post will appear in the appropriate group(s). Please note, not all posts are approved. In order to maximize the chances of your post being approved, please adhere to the guidelines above. To submit a post, click on the [+] icon.

How Do I Control What I See in My Community Feed?

By “Joining” the Groups that interest you. A typical Woolfer, for example, might want to follow New York, Sex and Money Matters. You can follow as many or as few as you like - and if you don’t Join any Groups, your Community feed will show them all (but you won’t be able to Filter - so we recommend Joining some or all Groups!).! You can also click on any Group at any time and just read up on that particular area.

What Does It Mean To Say That This is a Safe Space?

This is a space where we all ​assume good intent​, of both the posters and the commenters. That doesn’t mean we don’t disagree, but when we have differing points of view (which we encourage; who wants to exist in an echo chamber?), we state it with tact, kindness, and respect.

What is the Rewards Thing?

Each member earns Coins by interacting with the platform (you’ll get the most points for logging in daily!); you can then “spend” your Coins in various ways -- to send people hugs, and virtual drinks, to get discounts on Woolfer merchandise, to buy tickets to Woolfer events - we’re still developing this space, so check back often.

How Confidential Is This Space, Really?

We do our best, but this is the internet. We require all members to identify as women over 40, and to have a verifiable email address. Anyone who misrepresents herself will be removed with no refund, but beyond that we cannot guarantee that members adhere to our confidentiality policy. Again, this is a space where we Assume Goodness. Reach out to us at [email protected]​ if you have a concern.

How Do I Use the Near Me Function?

The Near Me function is accessed in the Community section, and will take you to a list of Woolfers who have posted recently within the radius you select.

How Do I Post Anonymously?

Go here to post anonymously. We check the link every Monday and post a selection then.

Can I Comment Anonymously?

No, unfortunately not at this point. Maybe one day...

How Do You Make Money?

Essentially two ways: 1) your subscription fees 2) our relationships with trusted partners. We only work with brands we absolutely love, and doing so allows us to provide this space without exorbitant cost to its members. We also have events, but they don’t really make any money ☺. We just like hanging out with you all IRL.

Do You Have Advertisements?

We have a handful of trusted advertising partners, we only work with companies we love and all products have been vetted.

What Will Get Me Kicked Out?

Name-calling or insult-hurling. Not backing down after an admin has asked you to. Disrespecting the privacy of other members ​i.e​ gossiping outside the community, screen-sharing conversations. Joining the group under false pretenses ​i.e.​ not being a person over 40 who identifies as a woman.

How Do I Find Out About IRL Events?

Visit our Events Calendar on the Home screen or in Editorial, and also read our Sunday Newsletter!

What’s The Woolfer Newsletter?

Every Sunday morning we email a newsletter with special content: A Woolfer Win (products we love), a Woolfer Reads selection (current fave book), sometimes an In Case You Missed It (a photo from the group or the outside world that we find particularly funny/moving/beautiful), the occasional quiz, and original essays and interviews with women we find fascinating. We also keep readers up to date on our live events and any other news you may have missed in the busyness of the community.

Do You Sell Stuff?

Sometimes we do — branded t-shirts, bumper stickers, a few of our favorite products. Check out our ​shop ​on the Home screen or in Editorial.